I most of all do not want her relationship with Christ to suffer. The Bible says that we should resolve our issues by going to the person first then bringing others into it if she refuses to listen, but is this even my issue? I've been praying for guidance and for God to provide an opportunity, but I need help. She shouldn't be in a relationship with a non-believer, and you should be concerned. And, yes, whatever it costs, your friend and the kingdom are worth it.

Or is this something I should be letting our new youth pastor know about so he might speak with her? What to do about it is a decision that is easy on paper but tough to actually live out. There should be agreement in any church on what is expected of leadership regarding relationships with the opposite sex, especially given our culture’s current confusion on that issue.

I care so much for the youth in my church, and I do not want the youth thinking that [her relationship] is OK.

I also, of course, don't want her to be yoked with an unbeliever.

)The most important relationship to a Christian of course is my relationship with Jesus Christ. If a believer marries an unbeliever, he or she is choosing to ignore what God says about being unequally yoked.

It is never smart to ignore God's Word, and that is certainly the case in a matter as foundational as marriage. Because a Christian has the Holy Spirit dwelling within him or her, whereas an unbeliever doesn't have the Spirit's indwelling presence.

There is no spiritual unity between a believer and an unbeliever. The new birth results in a new life and a new spirituality.

God's Word says, "Do not be unequally yoked." (2 Cor.

That is something about which the church must be bold and clear so as to not leave any question about the matter.

As believers, our lives are to be above reproach, holy, pursuing purity and, as leaders, a model for other believers. The bigger question is why has your church allowed someone to lead who A) is not making good choices about basic relationship issues, and B) does not come to church often? Given “B,” we shouldn’t be surprised about “A.” What would we expect? Your friend already knows where you stand on her relationship choices. I don’t think it’s necessary to revisit that with her. As I see it, her choices are not the primary issue. I think what you need to do is get clear from your church leadership, maybe your youth pastor, what are the expectations of young leaders and how can they help the young ones grow spiritually.

It’s perfectly healthy to forgive, but it’s not OK to be unwise.

When it comes to making up, don’t misunderstand me.