Divorce has become an expected part of the life cycle, even though we concern ourselves with avoiding it.The question of what went wrong in the relationship is a question most exes will consider at some quiet moment.But around 12 years into our 23-year marriage, we began to grow apart.Nicholas was very busy with his business, which involved a lot of travel to the Far East.However, if the issues were devastating to either spouse such as abuse or infidelity, the chances of reconciliation are much smaller.It would take a great deal of counseling and work in the relationship to prove the adulterer or abuser is trustworthy and safe.

To keep things on a positive note, follow certain guidelines.

Kathy Gleason is a freelance writer living in rural northern New Jersey who has been writing professionally since 2010.

She is a graduate of The Institute for Therapeutic Massage in Pompton Lakes, N. Before leaving her massage therapy career to start a family, Gleason specialized in Swedish style, pregnancy and sports massage.

According to counselling service Relate, one in four divorcees regrets their split. For some, the very idea will seem impossible — but for others it is a secret longing they can hardly admit even to themselves. He had such a clever way with words and he made me laugh.

Victoria Craig, 66, runs a knitwear company and lives with her husband Nicholas, 67, a retired solicitor, in Corbridge, Northumberland. That night at the wedding, we talked until the early hours, and a couple of weeks later he rang to ask me out.